Sunday, May 21, 2006

HALO

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there’d be sunshine everyday
I'll give you everything I have T
he good the bad...
Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I’m so up high that I can’t see the ground below
So help me down, you've got it wrong
I don’t belong there
One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I… I just wanna love you Oh, oh I…
I just wanna love you
I always said that I would make mistakes
I’m only human and that’s my saving grace
I fall as hard as I try
So don’t be blinded
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
So pull me from that pedestal
I don’t belong there
One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here you wouldn’t say so
you wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I…I just wanna love you
OOhh I…I just wanna love…you
Like to think that you know me
But in your eyes
I am something above you
Its only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear
I wear
I wear
I wear a halo
One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me but standing from here
you wouldn’t say so
you wouldn’t say so if you were me
I just wanna love you
I just wanna love you
(I just wanna love you)
Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo
Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo
Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo
Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A BEAUTIFUL LIFE, A BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN..SO FAR

well..yes after so much time wasted, ive finally given it a thought of putting up my own blogger...sorry guys, had been talking about it and yes, its here..up and running..go slow on me ya for im new to this..


so here it goes..well, after wasted 5 minutes sitting in the internet cafe looking at he dotA games played by these people beside me, thinking of what to start of with, ill thnk ill go with things thats still fresh in my head..and yes, here goes..


well, me and my friends actually went to langkawi early this month. yes it was a fantastic trip though this is the second time we friends went together. i wouldn't say that this trip didnt work as well as the first but yea, some new memories alongside some new adventure. at first i didnt thought of joining the guys but yea, changed my mind the last minute at brj that night wynton was following his dad with the company of kyle. drove up that morning at 2+ am. it wasnt till a couple of days pass that we took the bus up to join up with kyle and wynton, already enjoying in langkawi(l.islands). we started our trip gathering at dougies house, 930 and yes it was shane and mindy who were late this time, haha sorry guys but reminded me being the 'late ones' on our first trip alongside marcus, sorry. it wasnt till 945 everyone arrived as we made ou way to the duta station with much help from dougies mum and cousin jodie isit, sorry. upon arriving at duta station, we had some drinks at the stall nearby as some of us filled their stomachs. we were all hype to get to l.islands hoping we wouldnt mis our bus ride. bus arrived at 11+ and took the good 6hours ride up north as we took 1 good 15mins pee-break. arrived at kuala perlis at 6+7 in the morning, took the first ferry down and there, l.islands.


supprisingly the waves were calm that morning. upon arriving at the jeti, we climbed in a cabbie and head sraight towards perdana apartments where wyn and kyle was inhabitating. some fimiliar views greeted us but as well as some new ones too. me ad charmane left our luggages in the apartment and took wyns car alongside dados car driving dougie, jane, shane and mindy to sunset beach resort. its one heck of a place there, homey feel to it, check it out. oo, had branch in splash tomato before-hand. later after dropping the rest, me, char, wyn and kyle went to pelangi resort to greet wns cousin in the same time stocking up on some booz. cheap wei there, 46.00bucks for a crate. went back, wyn introed us to a couple of his relatives+his smelly pillow and we are off to get our rest. a good 2hours then we met up again and headed off to pelangi for some beach fun. seriously, it was fun, stupid-fun we had on the beach. wyn took a ride on the thundercat, us get-it-started with some 'manhunt' and 'americas..or should i say malaysias next top model' photo-taking and some fantastic fun on the beach playing footie and swimming. great share of footie-posing though mine sucked and our race..who can forget that race we had. everyone was swimming, flapping and kicking whilst kyle walked the whole way. yes, he won but it was great fun out there. that night, we went to ping thye for dinner. dissapointed though when the other stall(cant remember the name) was closed. but then but still yea, we had some massive saefood dinner that night and it all came to an end with a 117+ i think bill, belive me, its cheap.went home and thus ends our first day there. oo yea, we got to sit behind a storm, haha.


the 2nd day started with us having breakfast at some malay stall along cenang beach. food was alright and meet up with the others at sunset. as for me and wyn, we headed off to someplace 20mins from sunset to send in his car for cargo-carrying to the mainland.getting back from the cargo place, we got a ride from wyns aunty, bao whom i think shes darn cool. first trip we went, we got some great help from her and now again, her help for a van rental. bao, thanks again for the van if you are reading this. jetted back to sunset and have another great day on the beach. wyn had to leave us not ong after to collect the van from a guy in kuah. doug, jane and shane followed as they needed to get some stuff from kuah leaving me, char, mindy and kyle on the beach. had our great adventure later that day as we decided to do some climbing as we headed to some rocks nearby deviding the sunset beach to the pelangi beach area. it was some great adventure as we saw many many crabs, haha ickky ones lying all around the rocks. after the rocks we finally arrived on pelangi beach. we played in the sea for a while while having some rojak 'bro' left us. as the day got late, we decided to walk home hoping to see the rest on the way. bare in mind that we were all bare-footed the whole adventure, haha. after a couple of emberassing and interesting moments, wyn and the guys whom went to kuah came picked us up. had our bath and some rest, we came back as a group to have dinner at bobs. alright food but tom yam was seriously spicy.later that night, we had a unforgettable drinking session a sunset by the sea under the gazebo by the sea. went alright but the night ended with shane sleeping and me..yes, fertalizing the grass. i crashed at dougies room that night


third day started we shane waking me up. haha shane, what were you doing to my sleeve? yea, it was 'going-back' day as everyone packed their stuff. char did my packing for me and with that char, i owe you one. thanks again char. we left cenang at 12++ as we jetted straight to the jetti. char, kyle and mindy were taking the bus that day back to kl. as for the rest of us, we stayed at kuah for some last-min shopping. took our ferry, headed to kuala kedah, got into wyns car and headed back home. while in the car, we had some fair share of entertainment. singing our lungs off to the song of 'lucky' by britney spears and some other pop songs. haha, it was some great fun. oh and jane, how can i forget the drumstick we had, haha. back home, we had some back-home mamak session at stevens as we met up with char and kyle. as for mindy, she jetted off to redang the next morning, props to you girl. and that was some long story for the l.island trip. great fun guys!


the fun didnt end this month as we celebrated shane's birthday a week later. it was also mothers day where me and y family had some lunch-dinner as in makan at some fancy restaurant in sunway hotel alongside my other relatives from my mothers side.


"Happy Birthday" again shane. we had his birthday in the ritz-garden hotel whom my friend dougie called it the slutel, haha. it was port-luck that night and i brought jelly my mum made although i promised the guys that i would bring some kfc. sorry you guys and thanks for understanding. first time experience that night was no doubt theblue lable we had. shane was saving up the bottle after 12 when then everyone had to bottoms up a fair share of the liqoure. there was some firsts that night as well. chris getting all high with mindy getting her tan after some liqoure. shane dissapered later that night with wyn leaving the hotel all a sudden. as for me, it was kindda my first after so long that ended with me not puking or feling 'high' as i admit, i was emo and all that shit that night. putting it, i can say the party was an eye-opener.


i know that this is not nessary in blogs but yea, i kindda feel like sharing it. if it would make me feel better, i would hope so later after i finish writing this post of mine. after the party got myself thinkingthat i havent been a good friend to the rest of you guys. of course, some talk help me to open my eyes but it kindda had a big impact on myself. i left the party at bout 5 in the morning and through out the slow drive that i had back home from ritz-gaden got myself thinking. yes, every reason that i thought off got me realizing that the problem was really all me and mo one bit about my friends, plainly the 'ita's. every mistake that ive done or every lie that ive told or even every friend that ive been backstabbing made me realised that is all along me, my faults, my thrust and my respect for my friends, people whom meant the life to me, people whom i dont think i can live without that ive been hurting all along. sorry again you guys but if you are reading this, is best that i go thru this stage alone. i think i would do me good, making me feel better, changing myself from that decieving, hurtful guy i was into some one i dont know, maybe a better person in the future. sorry you guys but is for the better good that knowing that i wont do anymore damage to the friendship that we all share, the friendship matter most to me. its a stage i need to go through myself, a stage in search for the better person in me. now, the felings that im going thru are hatered and stupidity of myself. i hate myself. i havent been a good friend where by you guys have been the best in my life. you guys whom i treat like my own brothers and sisters. sometimes thinking back, being nice and kind can be a curse, letting people step on your heads and taking you for granted. someow, i wouldnt be able to change hat side of me that i am. im so so so sorry. thinking of this stuff make me feel that you guys deserve a better friend. a friend better than me 10 time whom wouldnt hurt you guys like i do. i deserve every backstabbing that i had and will have. thrust me if would but all this 'bad' things that ive been doing or telling have been all along protecting myself from not getting hurt the same way long ago. i wowed of not feeling that agony and pain i had but now it looks like indead i do.


so let me change into a better man by being by myself, thinking of all the stuff i did and try to fix every damage ive done. you guys know what i did and yea, nothing i say can turn back the time. so yea, my emo session and concluding my post, i hope an apology would be a start to you guys, you know who you guys are and yea..i hate myself and yea..truth hurts. hope you guys can forgive me from all these low esteem of self shit and all..appreciate it man..


''Friends Forever deiz"



kvn signing out,will see you guys when im ready, im sorry.